Question: do any of you know any decent jokes

Dave Sproson answered on 16 Jun 2011:

I think you can tell from my profile that the answer is probably no!!

However, seeing as we’re talking about science: A while ago Prof. Richard Wiseman set up a ‘joke research’ website (http://www.laughlab.co.uk) where people could submit and rate jokes. According to that, the best joke, which the widest range of people find funny is:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”. The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”

Though, personally, I preferred the one that came in second place:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”